www.areugoingtoeatthatagain.blogspot.com

That’s the exactly the same, but switch wordpress with blogspot

And I also created a blogshop selling various items:

www.areugonnabuythat.blogspot.com

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i’m back!

surrounded by so many people,yet feeling so alone.When you realise your best friend is not available anymore to you,what do you do? 

So Farhan really just hit spot on what my college life is: A very very simple summary that explains it all. And it kinda relates to the post below, too (sorry for being so disgruntled lately!)

Ever since I climbed up another rung up the “HUMONGOUS LADDER TO SUCCESS THAT YOU MUST COMPLETE OR YOU’LL DIE IN THIS COMPETITIVE WORLD because your parents said so” into college, I had a positive outlook on my life.

Academically.

The subjects were so understandable, I loved (love) business, and I can’t wait to set up my own company to invest and be a millionaire by next Friday so I can brag about it to my girlfriend (who incidentally loves business too. I think.) No more Sejarah (sort of), no more Moral (sort of, well, at least they’re not compulsory no more) and no more Sciences (never really had a scientific head).

I also am proud to say I’m learning alot more stuff than just academics. Event-organising, leading, there’re so many things I can practice now I’m here. I learned to keep a cool head (lost it at the end of my event though), and other stuff besides.

Problem is, I don’t have any friends anymore.

College people just aren’t the friends I could really click with. Possibly cause I only knew them for six months, but… Damn, they’re not really friends. Backstabbing bitches, they are. Lifeless people, they are. Horrible listeners, they are.

It’s not like high school anymore, and I know this is the transition, but honestly, aren’t people supposed to grow up as they approach 18?

Man, there’s no one you can talk to, they’re all immersed in a pool of “Me”.

I love studying more than hanging out. It’s really that bad.

I’ve talked to all sorts of people. Listened to tons of them too. Random people who flit through my life like days in a year. They come and go with some memories, but get forgotten in the big picture.

Most of the time, I listened. There were a multitude of people: Good friends, cousins, hi-bye friends, crushes, and sometimes, deranged people. They always had something to say. Not meaning to be self-praising, but I’m a great listener. People tend to tell me things; their problems, their achievements, hopes, sometimes just small things that happened in a day in their life. I even met suicidal people, debating with me if they should try cutting themselves to see if it relieves their pain. Most of the time, they get the answers themselves.

From experience (and many nods of agreement) I realized that when people come to you to talk, they actually just want to be listened to. Think about it, when someone tells you they just broke up, what do you say to him?

“Hey, I’m sorry for you. You need to get over her and move on with life.”

Really, are you sure he/she doesn’t know that? Pretty damn obvious, don’t you think? Heck, it’s advice any idiot could give, it means nothing at all. There’s no value to the advice.

People just need a listening ear, someone who’s actually interested in what they have to say, instead of shutting them up and telling them it’s wrong to think that way.

And I feel happy that they feel happy. I feel really glad when they say “Thanks. You’re a great listener. I honestly feel better after that talk.”

All you need’s a pair of ears, eye contact, and sincere interest in their topics. It’s pretty damn simple. And voila, you cheer another person up.

…And now, I actually come to the whole point of me writing this post, besides being a piece of advice to anyone reading this. Cause as a human, I’ve got my problems too. But there’s no one who listens. They just get annoyed or cut me off halfway.

I wish I had someone to listen to me too.

Then I look at this pic and I think, “Oh.”

Love you.

Love’s a stretch. It stretches on and on and on, and sometimes you feel it’s gonna disappear, you turn the corner and realize there’s another few miles left of nothing but streeeeeeeeeeeeetch.

True love stories never have endings. But that’s a fictional story. Your love ends when you die. Then you go to Heaven, or Hell, or you forget everything you experienced, forgetting the one who held your hand as you passed away, and your soul gets into a newborn creature, and you live life again. Those are the common concepts.

But, that’s no reason to be sad. 

Cause you know you loved her throughout your life. You have no idea why you loved him/her (let’s use “her” for my convenience), but you did, and if you do it the right way, you’re gonna be with her for the rest of your short yet slow-moving life. Sure, death takes all, but we try not to be too sad about it.

Meeting her was a dash of color into a stage of my life I resigned to be full of studying and a long stint as a proud, single bachelor, all the way until I got my bachelor’s degree (pun intended). But she broke that for me, and I couldn’t be any happier at someone who proved me wrong without any room for argument. In the eyes of every lover, you’re beautiful, you’re sexy, you’re the best, the worst, the happiest, the saddest, and the most heartwrenching thing in my life. I missed you right after I said bye. Gaaad, I sound like a lil school boy who just got kissed on the cheek by his primary school crush on the last day of school.

I’ve seen her before. Two years ago, I stumbled across her Facebook account. Totally forgot about it. I remembered saying “Maybe next time.”

I’m glad she chose to appear at this moment, when I least expected it. I’m glad it was spontaneous, so magical, and so normal. So natural. It didn’t feel weird at all.

I’m also glad we’re not just loving each other for sex, or for the sake of being able to tell people you’re taken. I’m glad it’s not just some relationship we’re gonna get bored of. I’m glad we try to respect each other, and I’m glad we try to understand each other.

And after all the things I’ve said, I still dunno why I love her. That’s the whole point, really! There’s no logic in love, gotta agree with the ladies on this one.

I’ve always talked about how I longed to feel “content”. This just brought me even closer to that feeling.

Love you. More than… I dunno. I love you.

私は英語ではない言語で書いています。言論の自由。

-.-

I started guitar when I was a kid in Form 1. Seeing people like Justin and Shaun play made me wanna quit. And I did. I loved singing and joined the choir. Everyone there was great. My voice was cracking. I never reached the notes the other tenors could reach, and I lost my voice almost every Friday after practice.

I learned to speak in front of a crowd from Standard 2. A nerve-wrecking experience that made me pee in my pants. Not literally, but yeah, I could feel my urethra quivering.

I had my first girlfriend, and I was jealous all the time, didn’t give her breathing space, and she loved me still.

I jumped off a ten-foot wall. The gravity hit my balls hard, and I writhed in agony.

Everything’s got a beginning. Everyone was a beginner before.

I pretty much believe, now, that whatever I’m learning, however stupid I look, I’ll know I’m a beginner. Beginners are allowed to fail. To be a master, you gotta be a beginner.

“You’re a beginner when it comes to being you every new day, you’re a beginner all the time.” -Jason Mraz.

I am a beginner.

Reblog if you like. :p

P.s.: I wanna love you long time.