some quotes just strike up the inspiration in me

26 07 2011

surrounded by so many people,yet feeling so alone.When you realise your best friend is not available anymore to you,what do you do? 

So Farhan really just hit spot on what my college life is: A very very simple summary that explains it all. And it kinda relates to the post below, too (sorry for being so disgruntled lately!)

Ever since I climbed up another rung up the “HUMONGOUS LADDER TO SUCCESS THAT YOU MUST COMPLETE OR YOU’LL DIE IN THIS COMPETITIVE WORLD because your parents said sointo college, I had a positive outlook on my life.

Academically.

The subjects were so understandable, I loved (love) business, and I can’t wait to set up my own company to invest and be a millionaire by next Friday so I can brag about it to my girlfriend (who incidentally loves business too. I think.) No more Sejarah (sort of), no more Moral (sort of, well, at least they’re not compulsory no more) and no more Sciences (never really had a scientific head).

I also am proud to say I’m learning alot more stuff than just academics. Event-organising, leading, there’re so many things I can practice now I’m here. I learned to keep a cool head (lost it at the end of my event though), and other stuff besides.

Problem is, I don’t have any friends anymore.

College people just aren’t the friends I could really click with. Possibly cause I only knew them for six months, but… Damn, they’re not really friends. Backstabbing bitches, they are. Lifeless people, they are. Horrible listeners, they are.

It’s not like high school anymore, and I know this is the transition, but honestly, aren’t people supposed to grow up as they approach 18?

 

Man, there’s no one you can talk to, they’re all immersed in a pool of “Me”.

I love studying more than hanging out. It’s really that bad.

 

 





give and not receive.

21 07 2011

 

I’ve talked to all sorts of people. Listened to tons of them too. Random people who flit through my life like days in a year. They come and go with some memories, but get forgotten in the big picture.

Most of the time, I listened. There were a multitude of people: Good friends, cousins, hi-bye friends, crushes, and sometimes, deranged people. They always had something to say. Not meaning to be self-praising, but I’m a great listener. People tend to tell me things; their problems, their achievements, hopes, sometimes just small things that happened in a day in their life. I even met suicidal people, debating with me if they should try cutting themselves to see if it relieves their pain. Most of the time, they get the answers themselves.

From experience (and many nods of agreement) I realized that when people come to you to talk, they actually just want to be listened to. Think about it, when someone tells you they just broke up, what do you say to him?

“Hey, I’m sorry for you. You need to get over her and move on with life.”

Really, are you sure he/she doesn’t know that? Pretty damn obvious, don’t you think? Heck, it’s advice any idiot could give, it means nothing at all. There’s no value to the advice.

People just need a listening ear, someone who’s actually interested in what they have to say, instead of shutting them up and telling them it’s wrong to think that way.

And I feel happy that they feel happy. I feel really glad when they say “Thanks. You’re a great listener. I honestly feel better after that talk.”

All you need’s a pair of ears, eye contact, and sincere interest in their topics. It’s pretty damn simple. And voila, you cheer another person up.

…And now, I actually come to the whole point of me writing this post, besides being a piece of advice to anyone reading this. Cause as a human, I’ve got my problems too. But there’s no one who listens. They just get annoyed or cut me off halfway.

I wish I had someone to listen to me too.





beginning to…

1 06 2011

I used to be an emo lil thing. I would never be fully satisfied with myself, my hair, my pimples, and most of all, my skills.

I started guitar when I was a kid in Form 1. Seeing people like Justin and Shaun play made me wanna quit. And I did. I loved singing and joined the choir. Everyone there was great. My voice was cracking. I never reached the notes the other tenors could reach, and I lost my voice almost every Friday after practice.

I learned to speak in front of a crowd from Standard 2. A nerve-wrecking experience that made me pee in my pants. Not literally, but yeah, I could feel my urethra quivering.

I had my first girlfriend, and I was jealous all the time, didn’t give her breathing space, and she loved me still.

I jumped off a ten-foot wall. The gravity hit my balls hard, and I writhed in agony.

Everything’s got a beginning. Everyone was a beginner before.

I pretty much believe, now, that whatever I’m learning, however stupid I look, I’ll know I’m a beginner. Beginners are allowed to fail. To be a master, you gotta be a beginner.

“You’re a beginner when it comes to being you every new day, you’re a beginner all the time.” -Jason Mraz.

 

I am a beginner.





To Nobody In Particular

25 12 2010

So here I am, blogging from the Premier Lounge of KLIA Airport. When I think about that last sentence, since KLIA stands for Kuala Lumpur International Airport, my sentence came out as Kuala Lumpur International Airport Airport. Haha. Old age.

I’ll be leaving super soon, an eleven hour trip, and I’ll reach Italy by early morning, perhaps around four. Doesn’t match, right? The magic of the ever-spinning world. Seven hour difference earlier than Malaysia, folks.

I felt sad that I won’t be seeing any of you til next year at first. But hey. I know I love you guys. And that’s enough for me. To love someone’s the best thing next to having someone else loving you. And to love hundreds of people… That’s amazing. And that’s what I’m doing. You doing it, too? =)

Life’s new stage is coming up round the corner: A one week corner, beginning the moment that clock strikes twelve and the New Year fireworks kick in.

Guys, if any of you are gathering together to embrace 2011, I really, really wish I could be with you guys.

My sentences are getting shorter. There ain’t much to say anymore, anyway. =)

Oh! About the Penang trip, I had my doubts, but it turned out to be most fun. Highlight of the year. Sorry about my stomachache. :/ I’m better now! Sorry for worrying you guys too, especially Kelly, Jian and Jit Qi. And thanks for the rotten chendol. Haha.

This is my End Of The Year Post. My last post to bring a close to 2010. What a year.

What a year.

Please, don’t forget each other. Please, don’t lose each other.

Love you all. =)





Weep.

15 11 2010

And…

Somehow it feels as though you’re still here with us, like days when you were in the hospital. Like I just don’t see you that often anymore. Like I’m still waiting upon your arrival back home.

I cried when I read that blog. And she’s truly amazing for recovering and looking on the good side of it all.

“You’re really strong.” That was around a week ago. Weird, how I get this feeling everything I’m saying in this post is inter-related.

Okay, maybe things aren’t as bad it seems. We lost someone, but heaven gained one. That’s the bright side. Trying to be strong, trying. God is good, He’s sustaining us. 🙂

 

So… tired. I am sharing all emotion from all people. It has drained me. Please let it be over soon. ._.





Please.

2 11 2010

Read this knowing that by the time you read it, school’s over and this is the last time we’re seeing each other for a long time, before (for the Form 5s) the final stretch, SPM, and to the rest of my friends, until March, and after that, we might actually lose contact with each other.We may not care for us like we do now.

High school was a mixture of the worst and best things I ever had and experienced. Five years of the memories, the forever-ness of high school, it’s all coming down to this. We’re leaving as big fish, from the river to the sea.

It won’t be the same anymore, friends. We won’t share that closeness, the shit we’ve been through and laughed at later.

For some reason, we can’t just group together with the people we really like and just stay together. Someone would leave. Someone would always leave. Then goodbye again.

But guys, I’m so happy to have people like you that make goodbyes so fucking hard.

Best of luck to all of you, be well, do good work, keep in touch.

I dunno, maybe I’m just easing out the stress for SPM, but leaving school and you guys feels very… hurtful.

Only after prom did I realize that was one of the last farewells, the alumni of Seafield 2010.

I love you guys. You’re all great people, and will be great people.

Adieu. =)

Jia Yin, I had absolutely no idea why I picked you, but the chocolate bar actually meant alot. It was as if giving it to you completed the goodbye I was giving to the form 4s.

We’re not super close, I ain’t Bryan or anything=D But hey, see you round. =) I’ll remember you.

We only part to meet again.





Maybe’s

6 09 2010

So I’m all alone at home, and the clouds outside are getting dark with rain. Just finished cooking up lunch three hours ago, leisurely stroking Nat with my feet as she groans and sniffles.

In school, I enjoy spending time with friends and all, so the more active part of me gets satisfied. At home, when my parents are out, the quiet side gets a fill. It’s necessary for every human, I believe. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing; sipping drinks with a good friend, sitting on a field after tending to work, or typing down how it feels like on a blog(yours truly).

I want more of this. It’s so calming.

Ace Farewell. Yes, I need to blog about The Party, The Teacher(Anne), and The Class(Thursday 8-10pm).

Yesterday was a great night, and my first ever time Emcee-ing. Gosh D:

Love it.

See you guys round. =)

P.s. I owe you guys a food post. Should I do my version of Garlic Fried Rice, or just plain and simple take away; DURIAN?! =D

 

He couldn’t help staring. She was daring enough to wear a shoulder-exposing getup. The exposed, smooth, tanned skin kept him distracted for awhile. The rest of her features were just perfect, as usual, whether she was at the lecture hall, or a fine-dining restaurant. The shoulders were terribly captivating, as she cocked her head to one side, making her collarbone look more pronounced.

Daiemn, thought Nick.